Spa for the Soul

The Secrets to a Fruitful Marriage

By Jennifer Sanchez | bio | contact

When a man and a woman marry each other, they become one flesh. The joining of two individuals can be a beautiful thing if the marriage is built on a strong foundation. We hope that as you apply this to your life, your marriage will be richly blessed!

It is important to start off by discussing the marital roles. Many of us have been tainted by society’s views on what our roles as men and women should be. Just because something has been pounded into you, doesn’t mean its right.

Creation

When God created both Adam and Eve, He also created and established roles for both men and women to follow. Because God is the same today, tomorrow and forever, these roles still apply today. And, if these roles are carefully followed into your marriage, you will not only be a blessing, but be blessed as well.

Genesis 2:18 tells us after God created Adam, He felt something was missing and He said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” Looking at this one scripture, we must recognize one important factor: God created Eve for Adam. Eve was the helper suitable for him.

This scripture shows us that all women were created to be suitable helpers. To better understand our role as helper, let us delve further into its meaning. A helper is someone who aids, or assists; a supporter, backer, or ally. Thus, in essence, wives are the backbone to their husbands in that they should encourage and support all decisions made by their husbands. In the Bible, the book of Ephesians (5:24) further explains a husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. Just as the church submits to Christ, wives should also submit to their husbands in everything.

Our society tends to make us feel weak or inferior if we submit to our husbands because the word submission is often grossly misunderstood. Submitting to your husband does not bind you in servitude. It doesn’t suggest you can’t think for yourself, or allow your spouse to take advantage of you. God is pure-hearted and everything He tells us is pure and good. Just as He calls us to submit to our husbands, He also has given a distinct role for men to follow.

Just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, husbands are called to love their wives in the same way (Eph. 5:25.) Husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife, loves himself (Eph. 5:28.) 1 Corinthians 13:4 teaches us that love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. When a husband acts in love, it’s not difficult, but instead a pleasure for his wife to submit and follow him.

Both roles are equal and no sex is higher than the other. But, God did create men to lead the marriage. However, men cannot lead properly if their wife’s interest is not at heart. When a man truly loves his wife, he will make decisions based on that love, with the benefits of the home in mind. It’s easy for a wife to follow her husband when she feels and knows she is loved. It’s equally easy for a husband to lead if he knows his wife is behind him.

5 tips for a fruitful marriage:

1. Be patient. It is easy to get angry at your spouse when they say something that upsets you. It is very difficult, and it takes someone who is very wise, to stay calm and remain patient. A hot-tempered man stirs up dissension, but a patient man calms a quarrel (Proverbs 15:18).

2. Be kind to one another. Kindness is simple way of showing our affection for our spouses. 1 John 3:18 instructs us to not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. “Love” is not only saying “I love you.” It’s living it and showing it. Let your actions speak for you.

3. Be quick to think, slow to speak and slow to get angry (James 1:19). In the heat of the moment we can sometimes say things we later regret. Before hurting your spouse with what you say, think twice before you speak once.

4. Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry (Ephesians 4:26). Be completely humble and gentle, bearing with one another in love. Even if you feel as though you’ve done nothing wrong, attempt to solve the problem before the night is over.

5. Encourage each other daily. Hebrews 3:13 tells us to encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.

These are very wise words. Just as harmful words destroy and harden hearts, comforting words build up and bring relief. By building someone up you also nourish the soul and motivate them to persevere under distressing situations.