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{I} Do’s & {I} Don’ts: Etiquette Tips for The Bride, The Groom and Their Parties

By Farzad Farrokhnia | bio | contact

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When it comes to weddings, people often try to decipher the boundaries between following etiquette guidelines and completely offending their entire family. Andi Herrera and Stevie Pendergrass of Soirée Planners gave SVL a few pointers on how to avoid the stress that comes along with planning your wedding. The duo also provided a few valuable tips for wedding guests. With advice on everything from invitations to cutting costs, Soirée Planners promise that if you follow these simple rules, your affair will be blissful and beautiful!

S Do’s S

DO S Accept gifts in the form of a “wedding payment.” If a friend or family member offers to pay for something, be it flowers, cake or music, LET THEM! When you do accept these kinds of gifts, be sure to give them credit. Whether it’s by printing their name in the program or mentioning them in your speech, be sure to acknowledge anyone who has contributed something to your wedding ceremony or reception.

DO S Think of ways to reduce costs without cutting style. Wedding invitations should be mailed. But consider having your guests respond to your invitation online, via email or on a website. This option helps save paper and postage by eliminating the need to include a stamped response card in your invitation. Offer a cocktail hour instead of dinner. Finger foods and cocktails will keep your guests satisfied and happy and your wallet a little fuller. Provide a cash bar instead of an “open bar.” Guests understand that liquor is expensive and may not be in your budget. Also, when people pay for their own wine and cocktails, they tend to drink less—which is not a bad thing!

DO S Think outside of the box when contemplating locations for your ceremony and reception. Party halls and country clubs are just two options. If you have friends or family whose home might be a beautiful setting (huge and with a pretty backyard, perhaps?) and they offer it to you, take it! This makes your wedding different from all the rest–more intimate and definitely more memorable.

DO S Coordinate Mothers’ dresses. While wearing similar colors is more of a tradition than a necessity, the dresses worn by the mothers of the Bride and Groom should complement each other. Traditionally, the mother of the Bride is asked to purchase her dress first. Then the mother of the Groom purchases hers, keeping the color scheme in mind. Remember to keep them beautiful and understated so as not to steal attention from the bride.

Do’s

DO- Accept gifts in the form of a “wedding payment.” If a friend or family member offers to pay for something, be it flowers, cake or music, LET THEM! When you do accept these kinds of gifts, be sure to give them credit. Whether it’s by printing their name in the program or mentioning them in your speech, be sure to acknowledge anyone who has contributed something to your wedding ceremony or reception.

DO- Think of ways to reduce costs without cutting style. Wedding invitations should be mailed. But consider having your guests respond to your invitation online, via email or on a website. This option helps save paper and postage by eliminating the need to include a stamped response card in your invitation. Offer a cocktail hour instead of dinner. Finger foods and cocktails will keep your guests satisfied and happy and your wallet a little fuller. Provide a cash bar instead of an “open bar.” Guests understand that liquor is expensive and may not be in your budget. Also, when people pay for their own wine and cocktails, they tend to drink less—which is not a bad thing!

DO- Think outside of the box when contemplating locations for your ceremony and reception. Party halls and country clubs are just two options. If you have friends or family whose home might be a beautiful setting (huge and with a pretty backyard, perhaps?) and they offer it to you, take it! This makes your wedding different from all the rest–more intimate and definitely more memorable.

DO- Coordinate Mothers’ dresses. While wearing similar colors is more of a tradition than a necessity, the dresses worn by the mothers of the Bride and Groom should complement each other. Traditionally, the mother of the Bride is asked to purchase her dress first. Then the mother of the Groom purchases hers, keeping the color scheme in mind. Remember to keep them beautiful and understated so as not to steal attention from the bride.

Don’ts

DON’T- Include your registry card in your invitation. Inviting someone to your wedding doesn’t obligate him or her to buy a gift. You can still register, but the location of your registry should come from word of mouth, never from the Bride and Groom. Invitations to a bridal shower should include this information so that guests will know where to shop and the items you would most like to have.

DON’T- Ask for money as a wedding gift. “Money Tree Available” on the invitation screams “TACKY!” The couple should never ask for money or gifts. However, if money is what you would prefer as a wedding gift, let people know by word of mouth [NEVER from the Bride or Groom’s mouth]. Enlist the help of your bridesmaids and groomsmen to spread the word among your closest friends and family and let them do the talking for you.

DON’T- Have your bachelor [or bachelorette] party the night before your wedding. You want to look fresh and happy on your wedding day, not hungover and swollen. Scheduling this special event several days before (or the weekend prior to) your big day is in everyone’s best interest. It’s a good idea to decide beforehand what you do and do not want to experience on that night and to let the party planners know. If you don’t want to remember it, don’t do it!

DON’T- Stress! Hire a wedding planner to help with all your decisions. They can work with any budget and can always get great discounts from vendors for flowers, food and location. They take all the guesswork out of making your big day one that will not soon be forgotten. It’s an extra cost but one that can make all the difference during your most stressful days.

These are just a few of the great tips given to us by Soiree Planners. Cheers and good luck in your wedding planning adventures! For more information, visit soireeplanners.com.