It’s the end of the school year! No more homework tantrums or sports practices. No more rushing every morning to make it on time to school. Freedom is here! Oh, wait–there are two words that kids tend to repeat during the summer break: “I’m bored!” Whether you’re a working woman or a stay-at-home mom, you might encounter a day when you don’t know how to entertain your kids while they’re out of school.

Consider a few of the following ideas to enjoy during the summer with your kids. It’s important to consider the age range of each child, because some activities might be boring for the older kids while the simpler ideas prove positively fantastic for the younger ones.

Plan ahead

If you don’t spend most of your time at home, we recommend keeping a calendar listing the activities you want to try. That way you can prepare ahead of time. You and your children can sit down together and discuss the kinds of activities they want to experience. If you’re on a budget, it’s essential that you limit your activities to the ones that are home-based or don’t require too much out-of-pocket expense.

Attend a “story time” at your closest library

Almost every library in town hosts book readings; children of all ages enjoy learning about different subjects. Take advantage of their natural curiosity and check out books for them. Allow older kids to choose one or two for themselves. This summer fun experience will help them develop good reading habits in the future.

Catch a movie at the dollar theater

There always seems to be one movie that you and your children didn’t get around to seeing. Take advantage of a matinee during the week when flicks are less costly…and splurge on some popcorn to share!

Sprinkler Day

This can be the perfect excuse to get the bathing suits out and have fun jumping through the sprinklers on a hot day. This means you, too, Mom! You can water the garden while the hose is on and take some time to talk to them about water conservation and other conservation topics.

Make homemade play-dough

This activity is fun even for adults. It’s a form of relaxation because of the waythe dough is kneaded and pounded–and it even serves as aromatherapy! Working with Play-Dough can help calm anxiety and teach children that crafts don’t have to come from a store to be fun (see recipe).

Bake a cake: Kids love sweets!

Why not have them cook their favorite cake and surprise mom or dad when they arrive home one afternoon?

Play entrepreneur

Plan a garage sale inwhich your children sell their unwanted items, or set up a lemonade stand. You can get together with some other parents to help with the sales.

Go bowling

Bowling is one of those activities that can bring family together. Invite your friends and family!

“Table games” day

Many kids don’t realize how to play games without a computer. Break out the old-fashioned board games, including memory games, poker, chess and others.

Volunteering

Lots of organizations in our city recruit volunteers over the summer. For example, the El Paso Museum of Art is accepting applications from teens 14 years and older.

Play “My Favorite Rock”

Use the rocks in your back yard as craft items. Take children on a rock hunt. Have them pick a rock they like and decorate it with acrylic paint in the color of their choice. You can use them as patio decorations.

These are only a few activities that you and your kids can try. You’ll think of even more as summer marches on. Remember that what’s most important is the love you give them and the time you spend together.

Home Made Play-Dough

1 cup flour

1 Tbsp.vegetable oil

1 cup water

½ cup  salt

1 Tbsp. cream of tartar

1 package unsweetened Kool-aid (gives aroma to the mix)

Mix all ingredients in a pan using a wire whisk.

Heat over low flame.

Stir until a ball forms.

Turn off heat and remove play- dough.

Knead till firm.

God is the same yesterday, today and always. Although He doesn’t promise perfect lives far from hardship, He does promise that we will come through our troubles unharmed. For some, as you are reading this, it may feel like there is no hope left. And, you might even want to give up–Don’t. The desires of the diligent are fully satisfied. Know that God loves you enough to pull you through any situation. No situation is greater than He is. He is always with His children and He knows what we need even before we ask Him. He only desires that we acknowledge Him.

If you’re at an all-time high, praise God! If you’re struggling and feel like things could be better, be patient and hang on; your breakthrough is on its way! God promises good to all that love Him. He is faithful!

Let go [of your own ways] and Let God [show you His]!

“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.”

– In Isaiah 43:2

Although not literal, this statement is a description of our pains on this earth.

28 Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

– Matthew 11:28-30

To provide victims of sexual assault with an advocate to turn to, El Paso’s Sexual Trauma and Assault Response Services (STARS) serves as one of the few centers in Texas exclusively dedicated to victims of sexual trauma and assault. Started in 1975 with the all-encompassing mission to eliminate rape and sexual assault, STARS was originally established by a group of El Paso feminists known as, Women Against Rape (WAR). As the years progressed, WAR underwent a merge with the Life Management Center, a part of the Mental Health and Mental Retardation Center and in 1995, transformed into its own independent agency.

Unfortunately, cases of rape and sexual assault happen every single day. According to Anne Kruzik, STARS Director, city-wide rape is committed most often by a person the victim knows or has seen before. “Stranger rape is the minority. Those make the headlines, but what we call acquaintance rapes are the most common,” Kruzik said. The center averages about six to seven hospital cases and about four walk-ins or phone queries per week, she added. According to Kruzik, though most of the cases they see deal with female victims, the agency does help males as well.

Providing assistance to victims of these types of crimes, STARS runs a 24-hour Crisis Line, help with court preparation and accompaniment, and assistance with filing for Crime Victims Compensation through the Attorney General’s office, all at no cost to the victim and their families. Additionally, STARS does community outreach and rape prevention training at public schools and for the general public across the city. At the forefront of the services, STARS offers victims assistance by volunteers who dedicate their time every day to advocating for the injured. “Volunteers are extensively trained on the entire process after a victim is assaulted. Often times, victims need someone to talk to and advocate for them, and our volunteers do that,” Kruzik said.

Dependent on their volunteer’s time, the agency provides all types of services with the victim in mind as they move forward from the immediate aftermath of the incident to the future. Volunteers are responsible for anything the victim needs including guidance through the hospital exams, advice, and referral to services at the STARS office in downtown El Paso. “These volunteers sign up for shifts, and if they call them at 2 a.m., they’re at the hospital with the victim at 2 a.m.” Kruzik added.

College student Lisa Saenz has been volunteering with STARS for a year now. A speaker from STARS who was a guest lecturer at one of her UTEP psychology courses convinced her to volunteer for the agency. “This lady’s personal story was heartbreaking. She was such a strong woman to go up and speak in front of an auditorium full of students. I immediately knew I wanted to be a part of this,” Saenz said. For Saenz, the experience has opened her eyes to a new career path. She said, “I now want to go after offenders who get minimal sentences after committing these crimes,” adding that she finds it “ridiculous” especially after sitting with a victim after the crime has been committed. Saenz, who is currently applying to law school, said her time with STARS and advocating for victims has made her want to “seek out justice.”

Gloria Espinoza,* a victim of sexual assault, was raped by a family member at the age of 18. After the horrific events occurred, Gloria carried guilt, an inevitable feeling that often arises out of rape and sexual assault. Aside from dealing with the trauma and a constant feeling of emptiness, Gloria shared that her mother blamed her and was completely unsupportive. “It’s a cycle and it needs to be stopped,” stated Gloria. According to Gloria, she found the most support through a faith-based church group. “You have to walk it out, get help, there’s assistance in faith and non-faith based programs, [such as STARS]. It’s a process, but [you have to] learn to have healthy and happy relationships. There’s no easier way than to walk through it and take it step by step,” shared Gloria.

If you are a victim of sexual trauma or assault, or are interested in becoming a volunteer for STARS, contact them at (915) 533-7700 or visit the office located at 710 N. Campbell Street. The 24-hour Crisis Line is (915) 779-1800.

The program was started in 1976 by David Soukup, a Seattle judge who was concerned about making decisions regarding abused and neglected children’s lives. He conceived the idea of using trained community volunteers to speak for the best interests of these children in court and today, every state has at least one CASA program.

CASA of El Paso started in 1986 as collaboration with the then 327th Juvenile Court, the Junior League of El Paso, and the National Council of Jewish Women. They currently serve about 340 children who have been appointed wards of the court.  Volunteers represent a variety of ethnic, educational and socioeconomic backgrounds. Approximately two-thirds of El Paso’s CASAs are employed full-time, some are college students and some are retired. One of CASA’s volunteers, Esther Lopez, says she always wanted to do something good for someone. So when the Wells Fargo personal banker heard about the CASA program she decided to give it a try.

Lopez says she understands the children’s needs. “As a mother of two, I know what they need. I can tell the difference between their cries and it’s a wonderful, rewarding emotion to help these children.” Lopez said she serves as the eyes and ears of the child. “I become this child’s voice. Communication is a key factor because the recommendations are to make sure this child is placed in a safe and secure environment,” said Esther. Her latest case involved a baby addicted to cocaine who was given up at birth. In such cases, the CASA volunteers make sure that the adoptive parents are able to provide a good home with what the child needs. Candidates with a criminal record are not eligible.

Lopez  visits the child appointed to her once or twice a week to make sure the child is in good hands. She says she likes to build a good rapport with and listen to foster parents, relatives, doctors and CPA workers about the child’s progress before reporting her findings and recommendations to the court. Cases require advocates to go to court two or three times during each six month period to present a report with recommendations to the judge. An intensive fact-finding stage at the beginning of the case is the most time consuming step.

CASA’s volunteer recruiter Nancy Ellis says that the program works with Child Protective Services (CPS) to determine what’s best for the child. “Parents get plenty of chances.” says Ellis. CASA volunteers visit the child once or twice a month and talk to teachers, parents and child development specialists to determine the best options for the child.

Lopez who just completed her first year with the program, underwent a 35 hour training program where she was taught about the various laws, roles and responsibilities, case studies, the signs of child abuse and attended a mock trial before being sworn in by a judge as a guardian ad litem. She says she doesn’t want the children to “become another statistic. I love children – I want to know that they will have a good future.  I want to be able to contribute to their overall well-being, the well-being of the community and help educate the parents to break this vicious cycle.”

Ellis says that some volunteers become so attached to the children that after they quit the program they become foster parents.”These are such sweet kids and they lead such crappy lives sometimes” says Ellis. Participants in the program have to be atleast 21 years of age and have to commit for a 12-18 month program and normally handle one to two cases at a time. A background check is required. They must also have a valid driver’s license, proof of automobile insurance and reliable transportation.

The program is funded by grants, private donations and money from the city, as well as the statewide CASA organization. To volunteer, contact Nancy Ellis at 915.546.8146 or visit www.casaofelpaso.com.

A: Urinary incontinence is defined as the loss of bladder control. It is an extremely common problem that affects approximately fourteen million women in the United States. This can happen to anyone, but becomes more common with age. The two most common causes of bladder control problems are when the muscles surrounding the bladder are too weak or too active. When the muscles that support your bladder are too weak, you may have accidents when you sneeze, laugh, or lift a heavy object. This is known as stress incontinence. If the muscles are too active, you may have a strong urge to go the bathroom when you have little urine in your bladder. This is urge incontinence or overactive bladder. It is important to make the correct diagnosis by undergoing testing to determine the best course of treatment. Once the diagnosis has been made, treatment may include simple exercises, medicines, or surgical treatment. Women should not be afraid or embarrassed to discuss this problem with their healthcare provider. Your quality of life can be greatly improved.

Q:  I grew up with a mother that struggled with deep emotional insecurities and attachment issues.  I consider myself a very different woman, but find myself exhibiting similar “neediness” when I’m in relationships.  How can I improve myself and avoid bringing those issues into my home?

A:  It sounds as though your mother exhibited some features of a personality disorder.  People who struggle with these symptoms really are seeking reassurance that they are worthy of love, attention and devotion.  Probably during her early childhood, she felt that her family didn’t provide her with enough “I love you/ value you” messages.

Unfortunately for you, she wasn’t successful at recognizing her neediness and how it drove people away from her.  You, however, have a tremendous advantage in that you recognize how her behaviors and insecurities diminished her life and relationships.  You have the ability to not repeat those self-sabotaging behaviors.

The first issue which I feel you must address and work to counter is recognizing that you are not the cause of her inability to attach and show love.  Your mother parented you the way she was probably parented.  Her inability to connect and nurture you was a result of her intense fear that if she loved you, you would discover her failings, “un-lovability” and eventually, you would leave her.  Her inability to attach with you has nothing to do with your worthiness and lovability. You must get it out of your head that you aren’t lovable.

It would be beneficial for you to make a list of what makes you unique and loveable.  You should start every day by reminding yourself of these positive qualities.  We call these exercises self talk.  If your mother isn’t able to nurture you, you must nurture yourself.  Treat yourself how you wish your mother had been able to show her love to you.  In addition to this positive self talk, you also need to talk yourself through your behaviors that others identify as needy. Remind yourself of how you react to your mother’s neediness.

When you experience your moments of neediness, talk with your significant other and or a close friend about these feelings and insecurities.  Be honest about your fears/ anxieties.  Talk yourself out of testing people’s love and devotion to you. Making people walk the trial by fire will only exhaust people and result in them leaving you. No one person will ever be able to meet all of your needs or to completely fulfill you. By the same token, you are not able to meet all of the needs of anyone else.  No one person will ever be able to give you constant attention/ devotion.  Some of your needs need to be met by you.

The most beneficial thing you can do to not allow those destructive behaviors from entering your home is to be aware of your behaviors that result in making people feel overwhelmed by your insecurities and need for constant attention.

Barbara Legate is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in El Paso, Texas. She has served as Director of the El Paso Runaway Center, Director of Adolescent Services for Charter Psychiatric Hospital in Santa Teresa, NM and Director of Child and Adolescent services for Parkland Psychiatric Hospital in Baton Rouge, LA. Barbara has been in private practice since 1991. She may be reached at (915) 241-4000.

A: In this modern age, the timing of delivery in pregnancy has become more important. In today’s world, women delay childbearing because of career, or other circumstances. Many of these women choose to have their deliveries scheduled to accommodate their busy lifestyles. To be able to accommodate this type of delivery, it is important to have very good dates in regard to the pregnancy. An accurate last menstrual period and a first trimester sonogram help to lock in good dates. If women choose to have either elective induction of their labor or an elective cesarean section, it is important to wait until 38-39 weeks gestation before undergoing the above. This is important to minimize the risk of babies having problems breathing because of lung immaturity. If this is an option for women, it is important that they have a thorough discussion with their doctor or provider to be able to safely plan their elective delivery.

Jose Aun, M.D., is certified by the American Board of Obstetrics and Gynecology and a fellow of the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. Dr. Aun practices medicine in El Paso, TX. For further questions, he may be reached at (915)534-7002
or you may visit his website at www.joseaunmd.com.

Send us your questions, info@suvozlatina.com